mundane

A massive, blue structure stretches up, towering over the array of houses in my neighborhoods. It slashes across the sky, and every time I walked past, I paused for a moment, marveling at its beauty. Though it may be a typical, mundane scene, even, to see construction cranes piecing together a building, I could not help but admire its magnificence; the design of the crane and I thought about how extraordinary its function and purpose is. Then, I would slowly slip away from my mind and back into reality. It occurred to me that in essentially everything, design is understandably influenced by practicality. This means its entire existence and purpose was meant for it to be practical. When I realized that even the vibrant blue paint splattered over was perhaps afterthought...I was disappointed.

I am reminded a line from Osamu Dazai's novel, No Longer Human...almost everything seems to be created for practical reasons. Most man made creations are, and while I am in awe of how far we've come, I understand a little bit of what Dazai expressed when he mentioned how disappointed he was at humanity. The fantasy world we leap into seems to hold endless possibilities, it's colorful, beautiful, but imaginary. When we find ourselves returning to reality, we are greeted with rules, limits and boundaries. Life itself also appears so ordinary... And so I remember how on my walk, I took a deep breath and my eyes dulled over by the reality of this world and I continue to walk with my dog beside me. The structure just becomes another piece added to the sky that just always remains there, peeking behind houses and looming over the sky.

As I reflect back on this scene and on this day (a whole year from now) I think about how my dog, Coco, is no longer by my side. The construction may have stopped now.  My family has moved a different state and city, and what seems like an entirely different world. What seemed like an ordinary, mundane snapshot of my life was not completely in the sense that this very moment cannot be replaced exactly as it was. That moment is precious to me and is a reminder for me to always take in the view, the moment. Life is filled with many of these mundane moments of beauty and I don't want to let simple moments like these slip by. While the world in my mind has its own beauty and I love to live inside of it, I hope it does not give me a nihilistic view of the beauty that reality also has to offer.

I suppose I have to live it to see and experience that beauty for myself..right?